My mom advised me a few weeks ago that all my life I have been unable to settle:
I always want a new wardrobe, a new hair colour, be in the midst of planning a new adventure, or trying to find a way to change my life in someway.
I had to really think about this, because I thought everyone sits on their couch at night and dreams about what’s next. I’ve always felt “settling” was a bad word that meant “unhappy”, so I never want to settle. What this means is that I am always on the hunt for the next best thing, the thing that’s bound to make me the happiest person alive (other than, of course, Brandon and Jalapeno).
Today, I asked Brandon if he would like to live abroad for a year. Honestly, I think he seems interested but his initial response to me was, “Pennee, is this ANOTHER idea!?”. Matter-of-factly, it is another of my 3 ideas I have had this weekend (one was a cross Canada road trip in which Brandon gave me a supreme eye roll). But, so what if it is just another of my ideas? Does that make my question any less legitimate?
“Do you want to live abroad for a year?”
It sounds terrifying, but oh, so thrilling! As I sit on the couch dreaming about my life abroad I end up thinking to myself: Is my life really so bad as it is? Why am I always trying to change it? I am not happy where I am, because I feel like I always want to go somewhere else? Why can’t I just stay put? The questions go on and on.
Truthfully, I don’t know if I am afraid to stand still in life, or if my life is missing something so I am always looking for something more. My friend suggested that the culture of constant competition that social media apps like Instagram and Facebook have created cultivates a feeling in their users of always wanting to do something better (I.e. get a better picture). Perhaps, I have succumbed to this culture and I am always looking for something to make me that much more happy. Perhaps, I have fallen in love with the mantra “You only live once” so I am trying to fit everything I ever wanted into my one life. Perhaps, my total happiness is out there still waiting to be found!
What do you think? Is it ok to settle? Or, should we always be on the lookout for what’s next? Let me know in the comment section down below.