Finding “Home”

I’ve never had a personal landline phone number. Since I moved out of my parent’s house at age 18, I have had a cellphone in which people can reach me, and that has been my only phone number. Even when I moved in with Brandon, we each had a cellphone that we used and decided not to get a landline. Regardless, in my cellphone I have always had the “Home” contact programmed…to my parent’s house.

My parent’s house has always been literally “home”. Even though they tend to move every 4 years, and my bedrooms have increasingly looked less and less like I decorated it, their house has always been my home (and I kind of just lived away from home with Brandon, I guess).

Recently, my parent’s decided to move and upon moving they broke the news to me that they have chosen to no longer have a landline.

I was devastated. They thought I was crazy.

Who was going to be at the other end of “home” in my phone now? They told me I can reach them both on their cellphones, but I explained that I like a general number to call them at so that it’s a surprise who picks up and I can just talk to whoever instead of having to purposely choose one of them. I was taken aback and very sad.

This all sounds very unreasonable when I type it out, but I was grieving the loss of my “home”. Even though, I am a married woman who has been living with her husband for 6 years, there was still some part of me where home was with my parents. I felt like them choosing not to have a landline was taking away one of my last connections to them as my home.

Then, Brandon and I went on our trip and two things happened:

1) I fantasized about living abroad, and living a life of travel. I imagined the cultured person I could be, visiting places I’ve never been before and learning about people and their customs–all while enjoying a big plate of Aligot (If you have never had Aligot, please find some and try it!).

2) I realllllllly missed home. There was even a point in our trip when I was looking into booking a flight home 2 days earlier because I missed it so much. I realized how much I actually love living in Canada/Burlington. My life is easy and everything I could ever want is at my fingertips including: groceries, family, and travel/new experiences.

I considered all the reasons why I missed home, all of the people, the familiar places, the dog. I realized that all these things actually make up my “home”.

People always say, “home is where the heart is.” I always thought that this quote referred to your husband/wife/partner as in, wherever Brandon is will be my home. While this is a very romantic notion, and I love Brandon with all of my heart, I found a new, deeper meaning in this quote.

Home for me is the place where everything I love is. It’s not one house, not one street, not even one city. Home is where I find comfort, familiarity and love from all the things that mean the most to me.

It still upsets me that my parent’s don’t have a landline, and that I can no longer call their place “home” in my cellphone, but it doesn’t mean that their condo is not one of the pieces that makes up “home” in my heart.

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