How to find yourself

Brandon asked me one time, “Are you like this at work?”

He was asking because I was swinging my arms around and shuffling my feet while singing in our living room.

… I do that at work too.

In my own personality testing, I am a very high “Authentic Blue”. This is the name the company designated to my type of personality, but the name rings true for me. I have been told many times I am a very authentic person. I am who I am, and I am ok with it, and I am not afraid to be that person.

I’ve never understood the phrase “find yourself” as in, “I need to take some time to find myself.” I understand taking some time to take care of yourself, doing something for yourself or even taking some time to find your purpose– but what does it really mean to “find yourself”? Aren’t you always yourself?

To “find yourself” seems like a very daunting task, and almost romantic in some ways. I always envision a person travelling the world and delving head first into new cultures, very much like Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love.

I started to consider that perhaps when people say they are “finding themselves” they are actually finding what they like and dislike and becoming more confident in those decisions. Consider those that travel the world “Eat, Pray, Love” style to “find themselves”– maybe they are actually finding what they want and growing the courage to say, “Yes! This is who I am!”.

I have been a facilitator of personality finding workshops for 5 years now and one of the first exercises I do in the workshop is ask people to look at cards that have descriptions of feelings and thoughts on them. Once they read all the cards they have to pick the one that feels most like them–no prior context, no further assumptions, they just have to pick one. Every single learner I ever had has been able to pick the card that feels most like them. You know why? Because, truthfully, they know themselves.

Maybe, “finding yourself” doesn’t have to be as daunting as it seems. Maybe, “finding yourself” just means: find what you like and be ok with it.

I like flailing my arms around, and changing the lyrics of songs to repeated versions of my name, and yes– I do it everywhere because I like it and I am ok with that.

What do you think “finding yourself” means? Let me know in the comments down below!

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